and Life AFTER


Discovering your husband or ex-husband is gay really isn’t the end of the world. It only feels that way for a substantial period of time.

We all deal with it in our own way (some ways healthier than others). I remarried after eleven years, an event I wish I could delete from my history as much for its brevity as for its horrific wrongness. But at least he was straight! (which is one of two reasons I got involved with him in the first place, the other being that he really enjoyed talking to me)

I’ve had relationships with men that were far from healthy, but thankfully, with only one exception, an integrity was maintained throughout that allows us to still be friends in varying degrees.

I learned something in that process — no I learned a lot of things, beginning with

1) I really like being a woman, and I’m glad God made me one.
2) I really like being me!
3) Mom was right: I didn’t amount to a hill of beans. I amounted, am amounting, to a great deal more.
4) Dan was right: I am a “trophy.”
5) My own instincts are most of the time spot on, worth paying attention to — at the very least investigating.
6) God brings dignity and beauty to each of our lives – and if we keep an inner ear tuned to learn His voice, we will see His gifts to us.
7) Before we can be honest with others, we have to have the courage to be fundamentally honest with ourselves.
8) Anger is part of the process. It’s not the defining part, or the terminal part. It just sometimes feels that way.
9) Soul companionship is more memorable, more re-live-able, than the most mind-blowing sex.
10) I’m just getting started.

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